Raising girls – 5 big questions


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The open forum at the end of our Raising Girls seminar is always packed with questions and debate. Here are the five of the most frequently asked questions:

1. My daughter cannot get enough of Barbie. Should I worry about it?
Not at all! The most likely scenario is that she will enjoy playing with Barbie for a while and eventually move on to other things. It is best to not make a fuss, as it becomes more of an issue than it really is. You could occasionally try gentle reality checks like “Could you run for a bus in those shoes?!”

2. Should I buy her a train set and tool kit?
By all means but she will probably put the trains to bed and wheel them around in a pram and use the spanner to stir the soup – this is her way of imitating Mummy and exploring her caring skills and couldn’t be more normal.

3. She’s fallen out with her best friend again – what do I do?
This is a very common occurrence with girls aged between about 6 and 10. They tend not to form firm relationships until later, preferring to try/experiment with relationships to see how they fit.

4. What skills should I encourage to help her now and in later life?
One that ranks high on the list is problem solving. Girls can dissolve in the face of a problem so we need to encourage them to think about a situation, get some ideas together and pick the one they want to go with. Acknowledge when she has succeeded with this and specifically praise her problem solving skills.

5. Some of her friends are a little obsessed with their weight and whether they
are slim enough. It makes me uncomfortable - any suggestions?

The general advice is to ensure our children eat healthily and get regular exercise without being obsessive about it. Make it the norm in your family. Then girls in particular get the message that it is about being healthy, not thin. Make sure your daughter has many things to define her apart from her appearance, especially as she hits the teenage years. This way she is more likely to be confident about lots of things and not purely dependent on how she looks.

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