Advice and Tips

Loved up Teens!

Young Teenage Love

 

We have all seen it haven’t we; two young people all loved up in public. We have walked past or sat across from them, too embarrassed to look, only too aware how old it makes us feel. I mean, they barely look old enough to, well you know, be out alone, let alone fornicate in public!

Sarah Newton

So, is it right? Should teenagers be all loved up in public and should parents be worried about it?

 

By Sarah Newton of TV series My Teen's a Nightmare - I'm moving out!'

 

I think this is a challenging topic to answer as we will all have our own unique view on it. We can all remember that all-consuming power of young love, but as adults do we want to see it? We all have a different need for love and affection and while some may love public displays, some (me included) can think of nothing worse than showing undying love in public. I think the key lies in us having open conversations with our teenagers about this topic and helping them understand that while we have a right to display affection in public, it can affect others. So questions such as "What do you think of public displays of affection?", or "How do you think it affects others who are watching?" are good ones to start with and even better when the topic arises or you and your child are subjected to such displays. It is not a topic we openly discuss in this country and one I think that is destructive. Never mind No Sex Please We’re British, how about no affection? As parents, I think we need to get clear what is and what is not OK in our homes and communicate that to our children when they start engaging in romantic relationships. Talk to your child about what you feel is appropriate in your home in front of you and their siblings - what makes you feel uncomfortable? What a child has grown up with is very likely to determine the amount of affection they show in front of us, so generally it is not disproportionate to what we show ourselves.

While we are on the topic of what is and what is not OK in the home, a question that often arises is whether the partner should be allowed to stay in the same room or bed. Here I cannot and will not tell you what the rule should be in your home.  However, I will say that the legal age of consent is 16 and you must decide the rest. This should be a decision that you and your partner agree on and explain to your child. I don't think there is any right age or right circumstance; I think it is entirely individual, just don't feel pressured by what your child tells you of what their friends are apparently doing or not doing.  As a parent, my child would have to be in a significant relationship and over 21 (she is 14 now). What is significant, I can't answer yet and I am not sure when I will be able to. Don't feel here that you need to make a final decision; this is something that may shift and change, but whatever you decide, make sure it is legal and that you and are happy with it.   

 

If you’d like to talk about any of your own teenager’s ‘loved up’ concerns or further teenage issue you can call Sarah Newton.

You may remember Sarah from the TV series  My Teen’s a Nightmare – I’m moving out’  Sarah is also an author of numerous books including Help! My Teenager is an Alien and the creator of Fink Teen Conversation Cards.

With 14 years experience talking to young adults and their families, Sarah is an expert in helping parents and young people move away from problems and into the world of successful living.

She has been dubbed the ‘family peacemaker’. It’s inevitable that all families experience teen-related issues from time to time. Sarah is here to allow everyone concerned to navigate these sometimes stormy years more enjoyably .

Call Sarah at Greatvine by clicking here for anything related to teenagers, young people, the family relationships, and/or academic 


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