Advice and Tips

Am I too old to be a Dad?

I’m 40 and about to be a dad for the first time

I’m worried I’m too old to be a dad and won’t be able to cope – do you have any advice? The responsibilities that come with first time fatherhood can seem daunting, at any age. A new baby will bring increased demands on your time and energy. Even though most fathers adapt well, the transition can be intense and cause concern. With the proper support you will not only succeed but also enjoy the adventure.

I’m worried I’m too old to be a dad and won’t be able to cope – do you have any advice?

The responsibilities that come with first time fatherhood can seem daunting, at any age. A new baby will bring increased demands on your time and energy. Even though most fathers adapt well, the transition can be intense and cause concern. With the proper support you will not only succeed but also enjoy the adventure.

Something important for you to know is that your age may give you an advantage by virtue of your life experience. You may be more ready to settle-in to being a father. More mature men typically know themselves better and manage their time and energy more effectively. You might also be more secure in your career, which is a plus.

The mother and child relationship, especially immediately after birth and during breastfeeding, has a pretty clear design and course to follow. This precious relationship needs to be protected and preserved to allow your baby to feel the continuum. This is known as the bonding and attachment time and is crucial to your child’s short and long-term security as well as brain development. One of your roles is to support their relationship. This can seem overwhelming when added to the other responsibilities, which may fall on your shoulders during this time. But do not fear, with time it will absolutely come naturally to you.

Life today is exceedingly busy and the adage, “it takes a village to raise a child”, may contain a clue for helping to resolve your question. Invite support from family and friends, particularly during the early days and weeks. They can provide meals, help tidy up the house, transport/entertain older children, do the laundry, gardening and more.

 Remember your village, acquire personal support (have some coaching), and relish getting to know your new baby and the rest will fall into place. You have everything you need and you are going to be a great dad. Get rest when you can, take your vitamins and remember, 40… is the new 30. 

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