Feeling guilty about returning to work
...and putting my child in childcare?
Guilt is a common emotion felt by many mothers and is often related to what we are thinking about/focussing on when we are feeling guilty.
How do I stop feeling guilty about going back to work and putting my child in childcare?
When we become mothers we often feel emotions that we hardly ever experienced before having a baby or if we did they are now much stronger.
Guilt is a common emotion felt by many mothers and is often related to what we are thinking about/focussing on when we are feeling guilty. In relation to work and feeling guilty about leaving your child with a child carer you may be focussing on what the child is missing out on by not being with you or perhaps that you are actually enjoying the time away from you child.
Lets consider a few ways that may help you to deal with the feeling of guilt
The first is to consider what your child is gaining by being in childcare.
S/he is learning social and physical skills and exploring new environments.
S/he is learning to be flexible, as things are being done differently to at home.
S/he is being exposed to illnesses, which will boost her/his immunity.
S/he is doing activities that s/he probably would not be doing in the home environment.
You may be happier and more relaxed for a number of reasons
Having a break away from the fulltime responsibility of having a child
Being able to pursue your career/business goals
Just being able to have adult time or “Me” time.
Your child also gains from your working/having time away from them
A happier mummy
A mummy that doesn’t resent their child for stopping their career
Having to focus on work may make us more organised again – mummy brain and having children can sometimes make you feel very disorganised. Having a routine and some order can often help a child to feel secure.
S/he learns about the changing roles in our society i.e. that it isn’t just men that can have a career.
It may enable your family to have more of a disposable income for holidays together etc.
If you are a working mom, find a way to have quality time with your child every day (it does not have to be hours at a time). This way they are getting the attention from you that they need and you are able to participate in their lives and find out what they learnt during their day in childcare.
A final thought: As a parent we often feel guilty about things that our children just take in their stride. If you are finding that you are still feeling guilty and are concerned by these emotions please feel free to contact me directly from the comfort of your home phone via Greatvine.com – go to Childalert’s Community experts for information on how to call.